It's strange to look at my son and think that he won't remember anything we've done so far. This move, his birthday, his parents as they are now, they'll all be vague reference points. Gone to oblivion. Though, now, he sees us and grins, he knows how to get home when we're out for a walk. I'm sure, if I let him, he could find his way home alone from most places on our street.

Part of what people like and dislike so much about children is the fact that they're so full of life. They're their own little forces of nature; raw bits of genetics and eons of evolution trying to unfold into a person. It's infuriating when sleep-deprived-you are at the receiving end of this process at 4am. At other times, you're grateful. It's an insight into our own humanity. Children have an innate honesty.

The cynical side of me hasn't been surprised by some of the less desirable revelations. Children are selfish, they have no impulse control, no patience, no sense of consequence. They don't notice how their actions impact other people.

But, on the other side.

They are born to love.

Call it the evolutionary advantage of the parent/child bond. Call it social functionalism. Call it neuro-biochemistry. Call it spiritual, call it anything. They are built for it. We all are. There is something truly innate about the human condition to love.

Seeing the way he lights up when he see me, or Mr.Fella, has reminded me to light up when I see my own loved ones. To feel it, feel that experience of seeing someone you love again.We get desensitized to the love in our lives; but that is time and age and repetition. Seeing such a new, earnest love shakes you back to your core. It is who we are.

My son's casual fearlessness, the kind that keeps me on my toes most of the day, has reminded me that all of our own fears are learned. All of them. We are born bold. Sometimes fear is useful, sometimes it keeps us safe and stops us from grabbing knives by their blades, but it's a tool. It doesn't have to be in every part of us. The voices in our heads are our own voices and we can control them.

So, maybe, someday when he is grown, I'll sit with him and we'll have tea and I'll show him everything I've written from the times he can't remember. I'll tell him to love as much as he can and to be brave. It was what he was born to do.