I don't know if I've mentioned this before (here), but Mr.Fella and I are only planning on having one child. For a host of reasons. Very well-thought out reasons that fit our lives and our family.

We've been pretty certain about this pretty much since we brought Wee Man home. We've talked about it. We've told our family (with various levels of grumbling - and "you'll change your minds"). We haven't changed our minds, and now, almost two years later, we've only grown more sure that this is what we've decided. We are very happy with this! Wee man will be fine. Life will be good!

Another thing: I don't like hormonal birth control. I've taken it here and there, but I don't like it. Call it crazy and in-my-head, but I feel like it effects me in noticeable ways that I don't like.

So there's some back story. Here's the actual story (if you call it that).

Yesterday I had a run-of-the-mill check up with our new family doctor. In Ontario, it would seem, they like you get to a check up when you get a new doctor. We had our new doctor, so that was the obligatory check-up.

I really didn't have any concerns, so, after checking my blood pressure and other normal check-upy type stuff, she asked me about birth control. At this point I told her that Mr.Fella and I had been talking about him getting a vasectomy.

She looked at me: "How old are you?"
"26"
"How old is your husband?"
"28"
"How old is your son?"
"Almost 2"
"I really wouldn't recommend that. It's permanent. You're young. You could change your mind. I think we should talk about an IUD."

She said it in the kindest tone possible, and generally, I like our Doctor (she's from Newfoundland!), but I was pretty incensed.

Because you know what other reproductive decision is "permanent"? Oh, I dunno, having a baby, perhaps? Everyone was cool when I was 24 and knocked up - I got more questions about being married than I would have liked, but everyone seemed to respect "Hey. This is their life. They want a kid. They don't seem crack-addicted. Yay for them!" But now that we actually have experience as parents and some hind-sight - woah, woah, let's not do anything permanent here?

Is there some kind of baby shortage I'm unaware of? Who, exactly, keeps a vested interest in making sure my husband and I can or cannot reproduce? If we had 8 kids would we have gotten the same reaction? Or is it just because we don't have the "right" number of kids yet?

Isn't it my job, as an adult, to decide what permanent decisions I want in my life and which ones I don't? I mean, I got a tattoo when I was 18! When I asked for it in the shop, I knew what I was asking for, no-one gave me "hey did you know tattoos are permanent?" disclaimer. If a couple asks about information regarding a vasectomy, they probably know what they're asking for. 


It is simply not anyone else's job to worry about what I might change my mind about besides me.  And, in this case, my husband. Period. And, honestly, I've been pretty happy with all of our life-decisions up to date.


It probably didn't help that she went on to ask me "what I was doing for the acne on my face". My response was "I've had acne since I've been 12 years old and honestly, I don't really care anymore. I'm okay with it. I can put on make-up if I feel the need."

Again, if I don't tell you that I'm concerned about something, I probably don't care all that much. Is it really medically imperative that we have doctors pointing out fairly minor flaws in women's faces and asking "hey, are you okay with that?"

"Well, I was until you just pointed at it and asked about it, thanks!"

My little rant of the day.
I really do appreciate the medical community and I know they have a very hard job, but, jeez, help a sister out here.